Friday, March 6, 2015

"NO!!! I'M *READY* TO GO!!! I SAID I'M READY TO FUCKIN' **GO**!!!!!"

Gawd DAMN I had to quote ol' Suzy at this chiropractor's office today!

The previous visit last week, I first had to go to imaging (much like Mary Oyaya AKA Master Luminara does over there in Uganda) at another location to get some X-rays made.  About a month ago, after a pain on my right waist felt like I'd just slept on a bar below my mattress and it was sore and would stop in a day or two. When it continued for over a week, I'd gone to the E.R. around 3AM to have it checked out.  Then after the imaging, returned to the chiro office and they made me lay face-down on this leather thing while this electric pillow wasted half an hour.

So I have another appointment today and I thought all we were going to do was review X-ray.  Uh, no.  FIRST a big Haitian woman done the regular checkup stuff but not excluding banging on both of my knees with a silver mallet.  Then a long-ass quiz about "are you allergic to anything?" to "are you feeling dizzy?".  "No" to every single one.  

STILL not over.  The chiropractor stepped in and asked a few questions about my progress, to which I answered "10% or less pain today and yesterday - I'm fine, let's get this over with."

NOPE.  He leads me to a workout area room and gives me to a Haitian guy, who hands me a big inflated ball, and he takes one too and has me doing all this fucked-up Jane Fonda stretch exercises with it.  By THIS point, I'm looking like Athena when SHE'D get pissed off at me.

And STILL not over.  Back to that leather chair and ANOTHER 30 minutes with a damn warm towel and electrical-touch machine wasting more time.  Shirtless.

As soon as the buzzer went off, before anyone could say anything or give me ANOTHER destination, I looked about ready to strangle somebody like you would a chicken and channeled Suzy:

"NO!!!!  I'M READY TO GO!!!  I SAID I'M READY TO FUCKIN' GO!!!!!"

Paid them the damn copay, signed the receipt and I was the fuck OUTTA there.  

I had shit to do, keeping me there til damn near 5PM when I got there at 3!  Fuck THAT!  I'm MUCH better, 90% better.  You can piss off now for the time being, go home!

After all THAT bullshit.....

TWO CIGARETTES, BITCH!!!  AND A JOINT!!  AND COFFEE WITH A LITTLE WHIPPED CREAM.  

Had I brought The Peace Maker with me, I would have been out by 3:30!



This weekend I need to pick up whatever Marvel Star Wars issues I need beyond #1-#2.  I know the new Vader AND Leia comics have began as well.  DAMN Marvel, slow the hell down.  But hurry up and get to those prequel-era stories you promised PLZ.